Christina Bentley Eulogy


Thank you all for coming today to remember mum and celebrate her life.


Mum was born in Peterborough on 17th October 1949 the second child of Coulson and Margaret (known as Peggy) Bentley. Auntie Yvonne had already arrived.


They moved to 1362 Lincoln Road, Werrington village in the early 50s. This was the area mum always considered her spiritual home, an idyllic place in those days with rolling fields all around. Where mum got her lifelong love of the countryside and rural ways of life. I remember mum saying how upset she was when building development started in Werrington in the 1970s and those fields were built on.


These were happy times with family holidays in North Norfolk, an area she loved all her life, especially Holme-next-the-Sea where the family had a caravan, the beach shown on the Order of Service is where she spent many happy summers.


Mum was educated at Werrington Church of England primary school and then nearby Arthur Mellows college in Glinton. 


Mum enjoyed school and girl guiding but had a secret rebellious streak, liking 60s bands such as The Beatles, The Who,  The Kinks and later Rod Stewart, having a Mods sign written on her bicycle satchel, though she rubbed it off when she got back from school, as her father definitely would not have approved!


Her dad Coulson was a gun dealer, an infamous Bentley family story happened at this time. Peggy, mum’s mum, my nana, let in a chap who wanted to buy some guns. Mum’s dad Coulson, and her brother and sister Mary and John were upstairs, Peggy was downstairs showing the chap the guns, when mum came home from seeing friends, Peggy let her in. There was then a commotion as the prospective buyer actually turned out to be a robber, stole an antique gun and Peggy started screaming hysterically. There then followed a Mexican stand off where the robber was at the bottom of the stairs pointing said stolen loaded gun at my Grandad who himself was pointing a (unloaded) gun at the robber from the top of the stairs. Considering mum was a fairly quiet, shy and placid person, her next action was very brave and assertive, she came through into the hallway and pushed the robber out the front door causing him to drop his loot and scarper. A unique stance on conflict management no doubt being borne from being a middle child between (occasionally squabbling) siblings!


In 1966 mum left school and started work as an Accounts Clerk at Marshall’s in Peterborough, a job she throughly enjoyed and where she met many friends, often who we’d bump into in town 20+ years later.


Going through mum’s stuff, I came across many old photos, there are several of mum in the late 60s, with her friends, goofing around in photo booths, at friends weddings and Sunny Hunny, she looked so happy, carefree and very stylish! Obviously a great time for her.






Mum worked at Marshall’s until the 1970s when I came along a big (literally) bundle of joy and we moved to Market Deeping in 1979, at that time a much smaller insular place, which would be mum’s home for the rest of her life. 


These years though tough financially (I appreciate now I’m older the massive sacrifices mum made for me in these years), I remember fondly, bike rides and picnics, the cross country at Burghley Horse Trials which mum loved and dragged me round the course, several miles for a 6 year old, Horse of the Year show at London Olympia, trips to Cambridge to look round the colleges, of course she supported them in the Boat Race which we went to a couple of times, coffee and cake at Central Cafe in Stamford, a bus ride into town to buy a Secret Seven book or some Lego, frequent visits to my Nana’s, and weekends away at Auntie Marys, Uncle John’s,  Auntie Yvonnes and Auntie Jeans in Kettering. A loving and happy home.


Life got easier in the mid 80s when I passed my 11+ and mum started doing nursing work initially helping a friend whose father needed home care, it was the start of a lifetime vocation.


In 1984 I came home from cub camp to find a stranger at our dinner table. That stranger turned out to be Malcolm, mum’s partner in crime (and wine) for nearly 40 years. They’ve had some wonderful times together, the occasional pub visit and amazing holidays, several a year, including Paris for mum’s 40th, with Scotland, Norfolk and Dorset being special favourites. A key prerequisite for their choice of cottage was distance to the pub and a National Trust property ! I would like to go on the record to thank Malcolm for the love, devotion and care he showed to mum, especially in the last few months.


The 80s saw mum recommence education, starting with a cookery course with her good friend Karen,  myself and Malcolm were the grateful recipients of several weird and wonderful dishes on Sunday nights such as deconstructed quail. This was the start of several years of learning culminating in an Open University course and qualifications from the Oxford Brooke, Westminster and De Montford universities which mum was understandably proud of, especially when working full time.


The 90s saw me leave home to go to uni (Hull not the colleges of Cambridge mum had dreamed of!), mum buy her house round the corner from here at The Grove, where she remained for the rest of her days and her taking a more permanent role in the nursing and care sector firstly as a matron at Maxey House in Deeping then as Care Home Manager for The Tudors in Stanground, a role she found hugely rewarding but hard work. It was here where she gained an Investors in People award for the home, this was an immense achievement and testament to her hard work and determination. She also oversaw the building of a secure dementia unit which has cared for and given a much higher quality of life for many many people.


At this time as well as carrying on with further education for her own development, she started tutoring and assessing at the Vale of Catmose college in Oakham, something she really enjoyed helping 100s of people gain qualifications and embark on a rewarding and fulfilling careers in the care sector. In recent weeks mum had gone into respite care and even offered to help the girls in the home with their NVQ work!


The 90s ended with her 50th birthday celebration with friends and family at one of her favourite places, Barnsdale Lodge in Rutland and the celebrations continued into the next year when she and her sister Auntie Mary spent a lovely few days in Italy.




In the early 2000s I came back to the area and married Helen, shortly afterwards her beloved Grandchildren were born, Jacob who she always felt was a mini-me, Zachary who she called Zacharoo, mortifying him by shouting this out in front of his teammates and coaches when she used to watch him play football for Deeping Rangers and last but by no means least,  Imy-Rose, her precious granddaughter and the first girl in the Bentley family for a couple of generations!


In 2005 Mum moved to manage the Clair Francis home in Park Road, sorting through mum’s possessions I found several thank you cards and letters from relatives of residents she used to look after, and former members of staff who used to work for her. This is testament to her abilities, the welfare and dignity of the residents under her care was her first and foremost priority despite many outside challenges.


In 2009 she celebrated her 60th birthday with a weekend at the Haycock in Wansford surrounded by family and loved ones.


She stayed at Clair Francis until her retirement in 2012, and was blessed to have many happy retired years. In this time she was an active member of the Deeping Walkers Group, being a walk leader for several years and helping with refreshments, mum loved keeping active and really enjoyed the countryside. She was also involved in Werrington History Group, she always loved all History but especially about her childhood home. In retirement an example of her selflessness was her help for one of her neighbours would had dementia and whose wife was struggling.


After she retired she had time for herself after a busy career, she had her conservatory/sunroom built and made her garden a lovely area to relax, a real sun spot. She continued to have superb holidays with Malcolm and enjoyed spending time together, days out, and the occasional trip to gardens centres or The Vine and The Goat, enjoying a glass of Chardonnay (large) with the papers in Malcolm’s garden, chatting in summer evenings until the sun went in.


There were also frequent visits to her older sister, Auntie Yvonne, where they had lots of laughs, going to their lunch club, quietly judging those that went for the larger plate option.


The last few months were more difficult, lockdown restrictions certainly didn’t help matters. But when I spoke to her on the phone or went over on my bike for a socially distanced coffee, the first thing she asked was after others, how her grandchildren were and how Helen’s dad was, thinking of others first as she had done all her life and career. Dementia is a cruel and unforgiving illness, but it is of some comfort that mum died peacefully in her sleep, she was at a relatively early stage and she knew who we all were, that we loved her and she maintained her dignity which would have been very important to her.


I don’t want to end on a sombre note but of happy memories of mum.
• Holidays in North Norfolk and North Yorkshire with her grandchildren, dinner at Trenchers in Whitby and The Lion Inn on the Moors, the steam train and watching her grandchildren play on Sandsend beach.
• Picnics at Burghley and Belton House,
• Sunday lunches in the snug at the Blue Bell in Helpston, 
• celebration family meals at the George in Stamford, her favourite place, especially when we went to one of the legendary Jazz nights for her birthday, 
• day trips to London, seeing a play, mum wanting to go to Harrods, me to the record shops
• her regular Wednesday nights meeting friends at the pub
• Many family gatherings and Christmases
• Opening stocking in her deb on Xmas morning despite being far too old 
• Being slightly scared of her driving
• Lazy afternoons in Malcolm’s garden with the kids playing with the sprinklers




She liked the good things in life, nice clothes, always impeccably presented, but she also appreciated the simple pleasures, country walks, nature, birds and pottering round the garden.


As I said earlier mum loved History, and visiting historical places, an active National Trust member for many years,  she also enjoyed visiting the House of Lords with Auntie Yvonne as part of her graduation from the university of Westminster. On occasions we disagreed about politics, but mum had traditional values and a strong moral compass, despite being naturally quiet she would fight any sense of wrong doing or injustice, especially regarding her residents. She was a passionate royalist and in recent years she especially enjoyed the street party for William and Kate’s wedding and the weekend of the Jubilee celebrations.


Mum was a kind, caring lady, occasionally stubborn! But always putting others before herself, be it me, her grandchildren, her family, friends or her residents. A real generous nature, whatever she had would use to help her family often before herself.


Though it’s heartbreaking mum won’t be here physically, her spirit lives on through me and and her lovely grandchildren. I pay thanks to the sacrifices she made and the love and guidance she showed, a beautiful person inside and out, who will be greatly missed by all her friends and family. At peace now, sleep tight.